Tales of a Procrasti-Baker: What Flavors Do You Have?

I love and hate this question at the same time. I love it because it sometimes gives me the opportunity to be creative with my clients.

For a cat wedding... How about tuna fish?
For a chocoholic's birthday... How about a dark chocolate cake with amaretto filling and a dark chocolate ganache?
For a guy's party... Have you heard about the bourbon maple bacon?

And if you want a specific design, there may be cake flavors that work better than others.

Chinese food cupcakes

But I also kind of hate that question because it implies that I'm supposed to have some set list written down somewhere. I'm supposed to have limited options for my clients.

I hate limited options.

If you want a fruity rainbow cake with the flavors all goofy so that the purple layer tastes like cherry and the orange layer is apple- I can do that. But why on earth would I write that option on a flavor list? Not many people are going to want it (because it's weird) and those that do would rather keep that option on the super-secret. If we go advertising it, then everyone will want it!

You know I love a weird cake order!

But still... a list of flavors would be helpful for those people who don't come up with their own weird ideas and who just want to know what's available. Plus, most people don't spend every waking minute baking, decorating, reading, and thinking about cakes. (How strange.) And so it stands to reason that most people would like some guidance here.

Just promise me you'll keep in mind that this list is NOT EXHAUSTIVE and is subject to change seasonally and with what products come and go in the shops. I will try to remember to update this post as I learn more about baking and decorating.

Cakeapotamus Flavor List:

Cakes (that's the bread part):

The Basics: white, yellow, chocolate

Baking Nutella into yellow cake

The Fruits: strawberry, lemon, orange, key lime, coconut
The Almonds: white almond sour cream, butter almond, chocolate almond

The Southerns: red velvet, sour cream pound cake, lemon pound cake, peanut butter pound cake, German chocolate, Italian cream

The Weirdos: bourbon bacon, deep dark chocolate, cinnamon

tie-dye!

Icings (or frostin'):

American Buttercream: This is the house standard icing, the one we use for decorating. It can also be flavored: amaretto, cream cheese, chocolate, almond, hazelnut, peanut butter, Nutella, lemon, cinnamon, rose... this list can go on forever. Just keep in mind that some flavors (i.e. peanut butter, Nutella) will change the color of the buttercream. I can't make white Nutella icing. I just can't.

Swiss Meringue Buttercream: This is a smoother, silkier, less sweet icing. It is heat sensitive and does not belong outdoors in Alabama from April to October. It can also be flavored with things like chocolate, cream cheese, hazelnut, almond, etc.
Whipped Icing: a cream based icing with less sugar. It needs to be kept cool and doesn't travel well (because we use real cream)
Ganache: Ganache is pronounced "guh-nosh" is made of chocolate and cream. It can be poured or used like icing on a cake. Darn, it's good.

Alternating tiers of buttercream rosettes and chocolate ganache

Royal Icing: That sweet icing that gets hard as it sets. We use it for the decorations on the top of sugar cookies (which make excellent party favors).

We can paint with food coloring on royal icing, too

Fondant: Fondant is pronounced "fawn-dent" by almost everyone I've ever met in the cake world and "fahn-dawnt" by people who watch too much Cake Boss. Fondant is a sugar paste that can be rolled out to cover cakes in a smooth finish. It can also be cut or sculpted to make decorations for cakes.

There is always buttercream or ganache on the cake under the fondant. Some people like to eat fondant, some prefer to leave it on their plate. Either is correct and just fine. Fondant can be made in just about any color.

French Sugar Paste: A sugar dough similar to fondant but with a different taste.

Modeling Chocolate: Similar to fondant but made out of white, milk, or dark chocolate. It tastes like chocolate. Can be colored a limited number of colors.

Fillings (the stuff between the cake layers):

Most cakes are stacked with icing between the cake layers. But, if you want something special, we can do that, too.
Fresh Fruit: strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, etc.
Jams, jellies, preserves
Anything you can use as a pie filling, we can also use as a cake filling. Let that sink in for a moment.
Fudge, Nutella, peanut butter
Almonds, pecans, walnuts, etc.

Custom Flavor Combinations:

The Elvis: banana cupcake with fluffernutter icing and bacon bits sprinkled on top.
Orange Whimsicle: (formerly the orange dreamsicle)- remember those orange sherbet push up pops we had when we were kids? It's like those.
Lemon Bomb: lemon cake, lemon filling, lemon icing
Brockodile: bourbon bacon cake with maple icing, topped with bacon bits
The Wright: nothing. You get nothing. Order this flavor and you receive an empty box. Without the box.
Chad: lemon rosemary! (currently only available in pound cake form)
Ty: (TBD: something that thinks it's funny, though)
Seymour Cinnamon Chai: cinnamon butter cake with chai buttercream
The J-Fet: spicy dark chocolate cupcake with Mexican vanilla icing
Xina's Honea Pecan: honey butter pecan cake with cream cheese icing (This is Pocahontas' favorite!)
Lynae: caramel espresso cake with rich chocolate icing
The Stones (TBD)
Voldemort (or the cake that must not be named): dark chocolate espresso cake, fudge filling, spicydark chocolate ganache... it's dark. Just... dark.
Jessamynt: Devil's food cupcakes with mint Oreo buttercream
The Butterfield Assorted: This one is surprisingly good- all the leftover batters from the week dumped into one pan. It's a grab bag and you never know what you're going to get! This one is especially good in cupcake form.

Want a flavor named after you? Email cakeapotamus@gmail.com for more info.

OK, do you see all of this? All these flavors and fillings that are all subject to the current price of butter and chocolate and what fruit is in season? THIS is part of why I don't have a price list. And this is why I have a hard time answering when someone calls to find out the price of "just a cake".

I've never met a just-a-person, so why would you get someone just-a-cake? People are special. They should have special cakes.